If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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