You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
When are your genitals available?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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