im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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