First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
