do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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