that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
