Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
