Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just invented taco cereal.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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