if you like me you must not know who I am
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Randomize
