So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
