Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We got so high we made milksteak
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
as a side note pls kill me
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
