Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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