i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
