I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
