that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
