Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
