Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
