If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
there is glitter all over my balls
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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