the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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