just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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