I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
