i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
