God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
