the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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