TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
