why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
