so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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