OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
