"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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