ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
