I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
