i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
