I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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