Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
