You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
