I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
