It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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