WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
