you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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