i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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