okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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