Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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