not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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