You smell like stripper and shame
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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