he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This is not my ceiling
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
