It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
