I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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