Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i was born a porn star she said
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
