Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
