I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
should my penis look like a turkey
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
