Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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